I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
