So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
