You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
