Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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