Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
