She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Quick, to the slutcave!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
