sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
