He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
