ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
