it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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