TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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