checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
