the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
