"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We need to rekindle our bromance
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
