Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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