i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
