I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When are your genitals available?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
