They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Acid is not a monday night drug
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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