Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize