sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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