Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
