That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
