she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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