Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Holy shit dude........stairs
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
