I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
