Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
