you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
