quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize