Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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