he told me I talked like a deaf person
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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