why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
