You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
