Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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