Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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