you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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