actually, I'm a sock model
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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