every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Randomize
