He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
