don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
