Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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