"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
