The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
