I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
