Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i came on her dog
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
