the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
