So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
