dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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