so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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