saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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