I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
