On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
