he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
this hospital has no fireball
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
