Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
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