you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
