Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
