in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
