You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize