I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
