You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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