guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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