We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
