i need an iv and a liver transplant
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
